


Your're just like your father, buried deep under the water

by junebugtwin



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, But it gets better!, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Depression, Dissociation, Eventaully, Found Family, Gen, Homelessness, Not Canon Compliant, OC is an outsider to shinobi life, POV Female Character, POV Original Character, Platonic Love, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Worldbuilding, but not enough to actually follow all of it's bullshit logic, listen i love naruto..., this ones a bit dark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24033622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junebugtwin/pseuds/junebugtwin
Summary: Yua Kagayaku is a very special girl! Her parents are ultra cool, ultra smart nobles of a very powerful linage, and she herself, has been told that she's very intelligent and mature!Today is the Festival of Spring, and she can barely contain her excitement- everything is perfect.Until abruptly it is not.Yua Kagayaku is a very special girl, she has parents that are dead, a noble name that means nothing but trouble now- and she's been told she's very intelligent and mature. And now she needs to prove it- while in the middle of the woods, being tracked down by an unknown force, no supplies with her but the celebratory kimono she left with. Oh, and trauma, lots of trauma.
Relationships: none yet
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. A Very Special Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I'm very proud of this fic, I think it's neat- but I do have to warn you before reading it, my knowledge of the naruto universe starts and ends at the few manga a read while in high school. Most of my information is actually from the copious amounts of Sakura Goes Back In Time To Kick Ass, and self-insert naruto fics I read. Basically I will do what I want with cannon when I want to. 
> 
> So far this fic doesn't contain too much violence, but uh, it will. So here's a warning for that I suppose.
> 
> Enjoy! (and please comment! I fucking love comments)

Yua is a very special girl. She knows this for a lot of reasons! So many that she makes a private list in her head, idly pleased with the results.

1.She is very tall for her age- her age being eight!

2.Her hair is a shiny silver, which is apparently a rare color if you aren’t a Kagayaku noble.

3\. Her eyes are really dark brown, almost black- which isn’t unusual but she thinks it makes her look more intimidating.

4.She’s a Kagayaku! An heir to a very prestigious clan of wealthy merchants and nobles, who are very cool and smart and rich, just like she is!

5.She’s top of her class in languages, politics, music (she plays the harp) literature, and gymnastics! Not in math, but that’s okay, she’s not last in that class either way.

6.Her mama and papa are very important! Everybody always bows at them and stops talking whenever they enter a room!

7.Her mama told her so! Her mama is very, very, smart, possibly the smartest person in all of Fire Country/ maybe the world.

Yua inwardly preens, but outwardly keeps her face calm, straightening her very pretty kimono as Akari-san does her hair. It usually takes a long time, and occasionally hurts, but it’s okay because she is very patient and very understanding! She has to look her best to make a good impression, and it’s not Akari-san’s fault the new fashion trends take so long to do.

Her papa once told her that happy servants were the best kind, and that one should always try to put oneself in their shoes if they started to get angry. She thought that was pretty good advice! Not that she would have been mean to nice, sweet Akari-san anyway, not like stinky uncle Kei-Ojisan who was rude to her that one time on her fifth birthday. She’s still not totally over that.

Akari-san taps her shoulder gently to show her she’s done, and Yua slides off her chair gracefully to go look at herself in her mirror. She ‘oohs’ and ‘aahhs’ at her look, actually impressed but wanting to make sure Akari-san knew she did a good job as well.

Akari-san giggles a bit, before moving toward the door, giving her a slight bow.

“Should we go Yua-chan?” Akari-san was allowed to call her ‘chan’ when they were alone since they knew each other for so long, but sadly still had to call her ‘samma’ when they were in public, which sometimes felt a bit weird.

Yua shook herself from her thoughts and gave the brown haired woman an excited smile.

“Yes let’s!” She cheered, excited for the celebration.

It was the Spring Festival today, and everyone had been really busy preparing for it- her papa said they always had to host the best party or the Isogu clan would ‘start getting all uppity again’ to which her mama had vengefully added that their flower decorations were never any good anyway.

Yua had never noticed one way or another about the neighboring clans Fall Festival decor, but she assumed her mama was right just on principle.

Yua walked cheerfully a few steps ahead of Akari-san, just barely resisting the urge to skip. These sorts of celebrations were always her favorite- people from the closest villages would bring their vendors and musicians and artist and books and crafts and so, so, so much good food! She got to meet lots of new people, eat until she’d thought she’d die, dance, and watch awesome fireworks. Plus after that her parents would be a bit less busy and be able to spend more time with her! It was a win-win situation.

She could tell Akari-san was also feeling good because she was humming slightly under her breath- she knew why of course, for one thing, Akari-san _loved_ pie, and there were always a bunch of them at the festival- and two, after the event was over all the staff got a bonus in pay and a few extra days off as a reward for all their hard work. Which she definitely deserved!

Yua peered around the hallway corner, pleased to see her fourth favorite person pacing the hallway- though it was a bit unfortunate he looked so nervous.

Pretending she hadn’t noticed him she moved his way, acting just as cheerful as before.

“Souta-san! How are you?” She beamed, trying to cheer the best chef in the province up with her sparkly smile that she was constantly assured was irresistible.

He turned sharply around, a genuine smile breaking out on his face despite how stressed he looked otherwise.

“Ah! My favorite co-conspirator, Yua-samma- it’s great to see your face! I thought I’d never see again after so much flour…” He mumbled the end part, and she stifled a laugh with her hand, pleased to hear Akari-san do the same behind her.

“Did poor Youta-san spill it into the fan again?” She asked sympathetically, trying not to laugh at the memory.

Souta-san looked up at the ceiling like he was looking for godly intervention.

“…I love that boy but…he _is_ a natural disaster.” He sighed dramatically, and Yua was unable to hide her mirth- she had no idea why he kept getting stuck with kitchen duty! Was it supposed to be some sort of cruel punishment or prank? Or maybe the staff manager just hadn’t heard of the other… _incidents_.

Yua was about to reply with a joke when a loud explosion sounded off in the distance, the ground shaking a bit with the intensity. Alarmed, all three of them turned to stare out the closest window, Akari-san’s hand griping Yua’s shoulder firmly.

There was smoke past the ground walls, though it was hard to see past all the tree’s and stuff in the way.

Yua tried to calm down- she didn’t know what was going on, but there was no reason to panic yet.

“Perhaps a firework malfunction…?” Souta-san suggested sounding uneasy. Akari-san didn’t take her eyes off the billowing smoke, her eyebrows scrunched up in concern.

“…Maybe. Should we go see?” She asked uncertainly, glancing once down at Yua before looking back meaningfully at Souta-san. Yua tried not to pout at the silent conversation that was clearly going on above her head, playing with her fingers in a tic she normally tried to not do- since Obaasan said it wasn’t very polite. She couldn’t help it right now though; something about this was making her extra nervous.

Just as it seemed like Akari-san was looking down to actually address her, a servant- Eito-san, she quietly remembered- he took care of the horses- ran up to them looking frightened and out of breath. They all immediately straightened and met him in the middle, Souta-san hovering his hands over him like maybe he wanted to catch him. (or hug him)

“Eito-san..?” He asked nervously as the long hair boy panted for a moment, bending down to catch his breath. When he looked back Yua was horrified to see there were tears in his eyes and he had a bloody nose!

“We’ve b-been attacked- nin- maybe Kumo, m-maybe not, maybe a different- could be the Yōhei- I- I don’t- we have to- Daiki-samma-Hiriko-samma- they- I-w-what-“ He jabbered his voice raised high with fear and his words stumbling and stuttered and all out of order. Yua felt her chest tighten- she hadn’t caught everything he’d frantically muttered- but she’d heard the part about being attacked, and- and her parents’ names…She swallowed heavily, fighting back tears.

Akari-san snapped her fingers, and Eito-san jumped a bit, before glancing up at her. She looked a bit stern, but she wasn’t mad- that was her ‘I’m the boss now’ face. In some ways it made her feel a bit better, in some ways it made her felt a bit worse.

“Eito-san, please, what is going on- I understand your upset, but I need you to speak more understandably.” Eito-san took in a huge breath and blew it out, trying to sooth himself a bit. Yua wanted to reach out and give him a hug, but Akari’s hands on her shoulders were beginning to grow vice-like.

“O-okay. I- okay. We are being attacked- I d-don’t know _why_ , or by _who_ \- b-but- “ He glanced down at her for the first time, suddenly looking incredibly stricken. Yua felt like throwing up, and she moved further into Akari-san’s legs for comfort.

He looked back to the adults, face pale.

“T-the Kagayaku heads have- they- they’re not with us. You have t-to take Yua-samma and leave, right now- and Souta-san, I need- you need to help me tell the rest of the-the staff.” Yua blinked, surprised the conversation kept going and she kept breathing and time didn’t entirely stop. The sky didn’t go black and she couldn’t suddenly not hear what other people were saying- her hands shook, but they weren’t bleached grey.

Not with us.

That- that meant _dead_. Her parents were dead.

Yua trembled, feeling freezing cold and burning hot- like she was in physical pain, worse than when she’d almost lost her toenail, worse than when she couldn’t stop throwing up for a week- she was dying she was _dying_ \- so why was she still blinking? Why was she still _here_?

She wasn’t supposed to be here without them

Why were they-

Dead

dead

gone

 _Forever_. The rest of her life. Eternity. Yua let out a hoarse noise- and the adults stopped fearfully yelling about where Akari-san should take her. She could feel the harsh trembling breath Akari-san took in before she was pulled into a tight hug, her servant bending down to wrap her large arms around her. Yua stared at the floral pattern.

“We- are we going away?” She asked wetly, not wanting to with all her might- this was where she _lived_. She was a Kagayaku, she lived in the Kagayaku compound, that’s how it worked- but- but then she was supposed to have living parents _too_ wasn’t she?

Yua let out another mournful sound from deep in her chest, unable to hold it back. Akari-san’s arms tightened a bit more around her, before she pushed back a bit to look into her eyes.

They were such a pretty grey color.

“Honey- we have to- I don’t know where right now, but I’m taking you away from here right now okay? You’re going to be safe, but we have to go.” The woman tried to assure as kindly as she could, but Yua could see the stress and grief held in her expression anyway.

Yua knew she should care about getting to safety, but for some reason just didn’t. Her parents weren’t safe either.

They were dead.

But. She took in a shaky breath- she didn’t want Akari-san to die either so-

“Okay.” She murmured, letting herself get picked up and cradled, her head resting on Akari-sans shoulder and looking behind her. Akari-san said a fraught goodbye to the other two, and then turned around and sprinted towards the door.

Yua watched as they sped away, staring blankly as they raced through intricately carved hallways and serving rooms towards one of the west wing doors.

The temperature dropped instantly as Akari-san burst through the door- in was early in the morning still, and the sun hadn’t come out from behind the mountains. It was windy and muddy and had probably rained last night. Yua shivered hollowly and shuffled a bit deeper into Akari-san’s pretty kimono.

Yua closed her eyes quickly at the sound of other explosions in the far and not-so-far distance, smoke now pouring out of multiple places in the grounds. She could smell ash, and just barely hear metal clanging on metal- her guards fighting the intruders she realized.

She shuddered and mentally sent up a prayer that they’d all be okay- that they’d win the fight. She really wanted them to win- if they didn’t- if they _didn’t_ -

She didn’t know. She was supposed to be smart and special but she had no idea what was going to happen or why this was- why her _parents_ were- Yua felt a few hot tears slither down her increasingly cold cheeks, and buried her head into Akari-san’s shoulder.

If she would have looked up, she would have seen the estate- her home, that she’d grown and lived in and loved her entire life- burn in the background, getting father and farther away, until it was completely covered by branches and leaves. As it was she just cried- trying not to get too much snot onto Akari-san’s nice outfit.


	2. When The World Didn't End

They didn’t stop moving, but eventually Akari-san got too tired to carry Yua around, so she had to jog beside her. She felt _horrible_ \- she was probably slowing her down, and she wasn’t big enough to hold Akari-san to let her rest for a while.

She felt bad- guilty- and sad- but also, not? There was something that was cooling in her, and was harder and harder to focus on anything other than just keeping up with the older woman- she wasn’t sure she liked, but she wasn’t sure she hated it either.

It seemed helpful. Like taking your medicine even when it tasted awful, or going to sleep even when she felt like staying up. Sometimes things felt bad but were good actually. Maybe that’s what this numbness was.

Yua panted, barely correcting herself from slipping on another overly wet root- they were far from any trail now, just running frantically through the brush. It was hard- she got prickles all over her and small sharp branches kept getting caught in her kimono- but it seemed like Akari-san knew where she was going, so she didn’t say anything. She wasn’t sure if she could.

It was brighter out now, though the sky was overcast and the air was still damp. She was glad it wasn’t raining logically, even though a part of her felt like it should be.

The world _should_ be ending.

But it wasn’t. Yua should be sobbing hysterically- but she wasn’t. She was staring at the ground and thinking about rain and how not to trip- she was a _bad_ daughter.

Yua nearly crashed into Akari-san as the woman came to halt, but thankfully managed to right herself at the last minute. The older woman was breathing deeply, clearly exhausted. Yua could already relate, and she hadn’t even been running for as long as she had.

Akari turned around, brushing her chestnut colored locks away from her sweaty face with a barely shaking hand.

“I think- I think we have to stop for a little bit- catch our breath.” Yua nodded, setting tentatively down on the log beside Akari, and feeling the unpleasantness of her kimono becoming more dirty and stained. Yua looked down slowly, distantly horrified to see her nice pretty kimono ripped and torn and covered with leaves and sap and dirt. 

“My kimono…” She rasped, her voice sounding strained and odd to her own ears. Akari looked her way, concern and sorrow taking over her features.

“I know- I’m so, so sorry sweetie…I-“ She paused, and took a deep breath, shutting her eyes for a moment. When she opened them they were more serious, though she could see the hurt just underneath.

“This is going to be hard, and sucky- and you don’t deserve… _any_ of this, but…but I need you to, to do something for me okay?” Yua straightened up, despite her muscles protesting at the moment and nodded, trying to be helpful.

“Good- I need you to- you are the- the _smartest_ kid I know, and right now I just need you to- to be the mature girl I know you can be. You have to do what I say, and take this all really seriously okay? And-and I _promise_ you, that when we get out of this- we can both- we can both sit and cry together, but right now-“ Akari let out a watery sounding sigh, and torn her hand roughly through her own hair, untangling sticks and twigs.

“-Right now I need you to stay calm for me okay?” Yua blinked silently, before nodding her head in response, something clicking internally in the cold that was growing through her limbs.

That made sense. That was- that was the smart thing to do. The last thing she wanted was to be the reason that…that they got killed. Yua felt the cold fizzle out at the end of her finger tips and toes, now completely enveloping. It was oddly comforting- like a blanket being thrown over her- or like watching something through a window. What she was seeing was distant, far away. It was always easier to make decisions when you weren’t in the heat of things, right?

Distance was good.

 _She_ would be good. They’d make it out okay. She would be mature. Her kimono didn’t matter- so what if it got dirty? Wasn’t that better camouflage anyway? It was green already, but not exactly a realistic shade.

Akari was looking away now, eyes peering through the underbrush carefully. Yua herself couldn’t hear or see anything out of the ordinary, but if the attackers were nin…people always whispered that they could go invisible- stalk you for days without you noticing…not until they were ready to leap.

Akari sighed a bone weary sigh, and then got to her feet, looking a bit unstable. Yua immediately stood up as well, her legs absolutely aching in response. But that was okay, because they weren’t actually hurt just tired, like how they got when she went through a particularly challenging course in her gymnastics’ class. It wouldn’t feel good to run on them..but. She had to.

“Let’s go.” Akari said grimly, and Yua followed her at the best pace she could offer, feeling less and less in particular about it.

\---

The more time that went on the more she discovered how much she _didn’t_ know. She didn’t know which plants were good to eat and which would make you throw up, she didn’t know what tracks belonged to which animal- she couldn’t find her way to the nearest village, didn’t even have a clue as to where to go, and would have been totally lost without Akari-san. She couldn’t climb tree’s good enough to get a proper look around, and try as she might- she couldn’t fish.

They’d finally stopped when the moon was already high in the sky, and Yua had barely managed to keep herself from plunging head first into the dirt with fatigue- and even then she hadn’t gotten to rest- Akari-san had gently prodded her over to a nearby river and was attempting to catch them a meal.

Akari-san made it look easy, even with only a sharpened stick instead of a net or fish hook- but it really wasn’t! Yua tried to sit still and patiently wait for the silver colored fish to swim by, but as soon as she moved to lunge they’d instantly speed away, as if reading her thoughts.

It was disappointing, in a vague sort of way- she wasn’t feeling quite as cold as before, but there was a certain lag to her emotions and reactions that was as comforting as it was unnerving.

Akari-san caught her third fish and promptly claimed they should cook them up.

The fire that her servant methodically built was incredibly warm- surprising her with just how physically freezing she’d been just moments ago. The fish roasting steadily over the blaze continued to smell better and better with every passing moment, and the hunger that hadn’t so much as twitched at her stomach before was now rearing its ugly head.

Yua peered at the ground, curled up as close as she could to the warmth of the fire without being burned by stay embers, willing her stomach to quiet its loud rumbling.

She sat like that for maybe a few minutes, not thinking anything in particular, gaze distantly observing how the light flickered against the dirt and rocks at her sandaled feet.

“Yua-chan?” The sound of Akari-san’s hesitant voice broke her out of her small trace, and she tilted her head up barely to meet the woman’s troubled gaze. Not feeling like much like talking, but not wanting to be rude, let out a small hum to show she was listening.

If anything Akari-san’s grey eyes looked a bit more anxious at the response, but she didn’t immediately reply. A few moments of silence went by, and Yua idly wondered what she wanted to say that was taking so long to consider.

“…Aren’t you curious to know why I’m such a good fisher?” Akari-san asks, giving her a smile she’s never seen before, looking oddly fragile and fake. Yua hadn’t been wondering. She was tired. But she nodded anyway, considering that it might be important to Akari-san that she showed some interest in her life.

Akari-san pauses again, rubbing the back of her neck, before putting on the same not-real grin and answering.

“Before your- before I was hired at the palace, I used to live in a really small fishing village, far, far away.” Yua tilt’s her head, surprised despite the fog that is tugging down at her thoughts. She’d always just assumed Akari-san was from one of the nearby villages, like most of the staff at the palace.

“Fishing is usually men’s work, where I’m from anyway- but my brother was a no-good gambler, and my father was too ill to do much of anything, as much as he hated that.” Yua nods along, a small frown pulling at her lips. Akari-san was speaking with a calm, almost methodical voice now, seemingly untroubled by the story itself- but it wasn’t a very happy one. _That must have been a hard childhood_ , she thinks a little sadly.

They fall back into soft silence for a moment, the sound of the fish crackling with heat filling her ears. Finally she responds verbally, her words coming out quiet and slow like ant’s crawling through honey.

“What happened to them? When you came here.” She watches Akari-san’s face carefully, looking for any sign of distress. The older woman seems a bit wistful, but doesn’t appear to be overly upset.

“I told Dai- my brother- that I was leaving in three day’s and if he didn’t get his act together I’d go without bothering to teach him how to fish, or clean, or shop.” Yua blinks, and cocks her head to the side curiously.

“Did he ignore you?” Akari-san snorts, and reaches out to check if the fish are done cooking before responding.

“No way, that kid knew with his reputation no one but me would be kind enough to teach him. I think him and Dad are on much better terms now.” She finishes, and to some extent, Yua is satisfied that at least the story had a happy ending.

* * *

They eat the fish together companionably enough, and Akari-san sit’s up by a big tree and makes Yua lean against her side. They’re not really going to get a full night’s sleep, she explains, just a quick nap before they get a move on again. Yua doesn’t protest, but despite her heavy exhaustion fears even a few hours of shut-eye will evade her.

She doesn’t want to have even the most pleasant of dreams tonight, never mind nightmares- and luckily she gets her wish, slipping into a deep and perfectly black slumber.

* * *

She’s groggily woken up a few hours later, somehow more tired than before she’d closed her eyes. Almost tripping she stumbles to get up, feet screaming with pain now that she’s had a bit of time to actually get off them.

Yua winces and holds back a verbal complaint, instead following Akari-sans example and stretching for a bit. Akari-san sighs, but after burying the fire pit they’d made last night begins to set off, fast walking at a more reasonable pace than yesterday. Yua follows obligingly behind her, trying not to let another day of blankly walking through the slippery wilderness daunt her too much.

They’re following the stream they found now, though they’re still struggling through the thick green underbrush instead of walking along the pebbled shore- which seems weird to her, but she doesn’t bother to complain about it.

The day goes by slowly, mind-numbingly- though Akari-san does pick her up and run for a bit, which feels heavenly on her feet and is a bit more stimulating to watch.

They had seen some deer at one point, munching contentedly at some shoots from across the river, and that had been kind of cool. No bears yet, which was odd, her parents had-

Yua blocks out that thought from her head before it could entirely envelope her, going back to counting the roots bellow her feet and the dots of mud on Akari-san’s back.

Nothing much other than that happens until nearly dusk.

By then the shadows stretch long under each tree, and just from glancing at the river beside them- which is obviously clearer of foliage- she can tell it’s much darker underneath the pine bough’s than otherwise. That’s probably a no brainer, but it looks different than it sounds, like her and Akari-san are trekking through a different dimension entirely.

Eventually Akari-san calls for her to stop, and Yua obediently waddles up to her servant’s side before peering out at whatever it is she was looking at.

It takes a moment, but through the tree’s she can see that the ground becomes much grassier, and the orange-purple sky is visible. They were probably approaching a field or a clearing right?

Yua glances up at Akari-san’s face, noting the stress clenching at the woman’s jaw. Not knowing quite how to speak again after all this time, she yanks at Akari-san’s tattered Kimono, trying to get her attention.

Akari-san looks down her way, and the tenseness of her jaw becomes a bit less obvious, probably because she was attempting to hide it. She didn’t think Akari-san was very good at hiding her emotions- Yua was an eight year old- a smart one, maybe- but still an eight year old, and she couldn’t even hide her expressions from her.

“…I think…” The older woman paused for a bit, rubbing at her temples.

“-There’s a village down in this meadow, I think it might be good if we could find some proper clothing and supplies but…” Akari-san sighed, her face covered entirely by her hands this time. Yua glances back out at the sliver of sky she could see.

If there were still people after them, then a nearby village would be the first place they’d look right?

But they also couldn’t keep going like this forever- Yua’s kimono was only barely held together at this point, and Akari-san’s wasn’t much better- she didn’t think either of them particularly wanted to be running around in just their underwear. They could probably keep eating fish, but only if they followed the river- Akari-san said she belonged to a fishing village, and probably didn’t know how to hunt, and it would be nice to get clean or possibly buy a sleeping bag. Or at the very least a blanket.

Still. This wasn’t her decision. Akari-san knew best, she’d just do whatever it was she wanted to do.

“We need to go. Or…I need to go.” Akari-san turned to look down at her, looking like she’d just swallowed a lemon, her face scrunched up in almost pain.

“The village might be dangerous, and you have- well, your hair is silver…I don’t want to leave you here by yourself but…” Akari-san sighed, indecision clearly plaguing her, before she dragged Yua in for a surprise hug. It was kinda stinky, since neither of them had done much bathing and had been sweating an awful lot, but it was nice regardless. Yua swallowed back a lump in her throat, and determinedly closed her eyes until the wavering feeling went away.

Separating them a bit, but still crouched, Akari-san looked deeply into her eyes, trying to mentally communicate something clearly. Or maybe just looking at her, it was hard to tell.

“I want you to stay right here okay? I’ll be gone for an hour at the most, and if anything happens or you hear something, or you just get scared, I want you to hide-“ She points to a thickly covered pine tree “-in those branches…” She stopes talking, and blinks tears away; much to Yua’s muted displeasure. She didn’t want Akari-san to be anymore sad than she already was.

“If- If you wait here for a long time, and I don’t come back…just, just follow this river here- you’ll eventually get to another village- but- but that won’t- that probably won’t happen.” Yua nod’s numbly, feeling a shiver go down her spine and her skin grow unnaturally cold. She’s talking about if she dies- if she gets killed-

Akari-san brings her in for another hug, but Yua enjoys this one much less, barely feeling the pressure at all. And then she walks through the brush into the clearing, and slowly disappears as she heads down the hill and out of her sight.

Yua immediately makes her way to the pine tree, bucking under its prickly needles, and climbs a few branches until she’s over most people’s sightline, and suitably covered by dense boughs.

And then she waits.

and waits

and waits

* * *

She stays there all night, and is still waiting by the time the sun comes up over the hills.


	3. Killing the Kimono

It’s well into the morning by the time she realizes Akari-san is not coming back. She is entirely cold.

She doesn’t move, doesn’t stretch, or shift, or cry. She just sits, repeating that fact over and over in her head.

Akari-san was not coming back.

Yua stares at the rough bark under her, her palms sharing the pattern after so long of simply gripping the branch.

She blinked.

She was smart. She was mature. She was distant. All she had to do…all she had to do…

She didn’t know.

So she’d make a list of what she _did_ know and figure things out from there.

  1. Akari-san was not coming back, which most likely meant she was dead. Just like her parents were dead. Dead meant gone. Forever. And gone forever meant that they couldn’t help you. It meant you were alone.
  2. Yua was alone.
  3. There were people after her. People who wanted to kill her most likely, seeing as they killed her parents. Eito-san had mentioned something about Kumo nin- but then he’d also said something about the Yōhei as well. But Eito-san wasn’t a warrior or guard, he took care of horses, he likely didn’t know what he was looking at anyway. It could have been anyone really. The Kagayaku’s hadn’t had anything even remotely close to a violent conflict in a very long time, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have enemies- they were rich, and cool, and held all the best parties- and her- her parents had always said that made some people jealous.
  4. She needed more supplies and actual clothing she could properly run in.
  5. She couldn’t go into this village, because Akari-san did that and hadn’t come back.
  6. She was told she should just follow this river that it’d lead to another village eventually.
  7. She had no idea whether or not that one wouldn’t be just as dangerous to go in as this one was.
  8. She didn’t know how to hunt, she sucked at catching fish, she only knew a few plants that were safe to eat, and she wasn’t certain she could start a fire.



Yua thought about that for a moment, feeling like she _should_ be feeling hopeless, but instead feeling nothing at all. She didn’t want to be killed. That was really as far as her emotional capacity went at this point.

Deciding that walking was better than sitting in this tree by herself, she slowly crept down to ground level again, her feet a bit wobbly after being curled up in a ball for hours on end. Her muscles still ached, and her eyelids felt as heavy as bricks.

She started to walk, carefully keeping within the confines of the trees, right beside the river. She didn’t even glance at the village in the valley bellow, even as she passed it.

* * *

She walks for as long as she can physically stand, but has to rest before the sun is even in the middle of the sky, curling up under another thick pine and immediately falling into a dreamless sleep.

She wakes when a small movement in her sleep drags her hand over a sharp rock, and the pain pushes her quickly from her slumber.

She stares at the small bleeding cut blearily, but decides it was probably past time to wake up anyways- it’s night time again, which meant she slept the rest of the day away. She did feel a bit less tired, though her muscles were no less sore.

She moves sluggishly towards the river shore, her skin crawling at the sensation of leaving the protection of the forest. She dunks her hand into the dark water harshly, and gets a spray of cold droplets on her face as a response. Nonplussed, she lets the current wipe was the blood and numb the pain for a moment, before pulling her chilly hand out and staring at the bubbling liquid. It was nighttime, but the sky was perfectly clear and the moon was out and bright- it wasn’t like the light of a fire, but she wasn’t blind either. Still, she couldn’t manage to spot any fish. She wondered for a moment if maybe they were asleep, before shrugging it off and getting up again.

She was still hungry, but it’d probably be easier to find food in the morning. A little more walking wouldn’t kill her more than anything else.

Sighing listlessly, she gets back to it, trying to be more aware of her surroundings instead of just peering at the dirt emptily- now that no one else is looking out for her she couldn’t afford to zone out so much.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have as much control over that as she would have liked, and occasionally had to snap herself out of staring contests with the earth.

She’d actually slept for a decent amount of time recently, so she suspected that helped a bit, which wasn’t exactly a good sign- she didn’t want this odd haze she found herself in to be as good as it got awareness-wise.

She found signs of human life sooner than she had expected, spotting the bright yellow light from a small hutch from a pretty significant distance. To be fair, light wasn’t particularly subtle in the dead of night.

For at least a few minutes she simple stared, crouched as quietly as she could in some bushes. She couldn’t see any other houses around, so she had to assume this one belonged to some type of farmer who lived a bit further away from the center of the village.

She was pretty sure she could go around it without much trouble, but…

Yua needed clothing, and she could just barely make out a line of laundry that was drying- she was pretty sure you were supposed to take that sort of thing in before it got dark out, but she’d never explicitly been taught either. Maybe they just forgot?

Yua rubbed at her jaw, making a list of pro’s and con’s in her head.

Cons:

  1. She did not want to steal.
  2. She wasn’t sure if she should- these people didn’t look particularly poor, but they didn’t look well off either- noble people were supposed to help raise the wealth of those that lived around them, not take from them in the dead of night.
  3. She might get caught- a line of thought which was almost enough to pierce through her armor of cold- that would really, _really_ not be good.



Pros:

  1. The chances of her attackers waiting in this particular farming house in the middle of nowhere was slim.
  2. It was dark out, and this area was full of wildlife to explain away any accidental noises she might make, meaning that this might be her best chance.
  3. She did not want to wear this torn up, dirty, smelly kimono for any longer than she had to- it felt bad to wear and impeded her movement greatly.



In the end that last point was too solid for her to ignore- the clothing she currently wore, if it could be called that, was barely hanging onto her by a thread, hindered her constantly, and made her feel needlessly vulnerable.

Having made her decision she approached the house quietly, moving over rocks and leaves and thick dirt on her hands and knees, stopping every few seconds to listen carefully.

Eventually she made her way to the small fence- one that even she, a child, was able to see over if she stood on her tiptoes- it was probably more for animals than it was for people if she was right about how in-the-middle-of-nowhere these people lived.

She climbed over it hesitantly, using a nearby rock to help boost herself, before cautiously lowering herself into the yard.

She sat for a moment, regaining her breath and peering around intensely to see if anyone had noticed her arrival. Nothing in the yard moved, and the inside of the house glowed just as pleasantly as before- now closer up, she could recognize that only one window was lit up- meaning that either only one person lived here, or the rest were asleep. Either was god for her.

She started to move again, tip-toeing quietly over the soft grass as she made her way slowly over to the clothes line.

She couldn’t get a good look at the actual color of them, other than their general shade, but luckily the light from the window helped illuminate exactly what they looked like.

Almost all of it was too big for her, and clearly intended for a boy/man- which felt a bit weird to consider wearing, but ultimately couldn’t factor into much.

After a few moments of contemplation she grabbed a relatively new looking undershirt, a long sleeved shirt that was probably black, and the smallest trousers she could find, which would probably still be too big for her.

She was tempted to look around for some shoes, but decided not to push her luck- her sandals worked well enough for now, and any footwear she found would probably be oversized. Plus, she was already stealing from these people- they probably had more clothing, but she knew shoes could be more expensive.

Gathering her collection under her arm she moved across the yard to the other side, traversed the fence, and made her escape back into the woods.

* * *

She ran an appropriate distance, far enough away she could not even see the faintest glow of the houses light, before tucking into the roots of a particularly big tree, surrounded by thick thorn bushes she’d barely scrapped her way through. Feeling as safe as she could given the circumstances, she gently placed her bundles of clothing down on the cleanest looking roots she could find.

She stripped as quickly as she could, briefly giving her absolutely trashed kimono and impressed look before setting it down on the ground, not bothering to save it from getting a tiny bit dirtier.

The one good thing about that kimono was that it covered most of her, so her body was relatively free of grime- albeit still sweaty smelling.

She carefully stepped into her new clothing, briefly closing her eyes in relief at the feeling of soft, recently washed fabric. It wasn’t silk or anything fancy like she might have worn back home, but somehow it felt even more comfortable. She was pretty sure there was a saying about this-Something about a cracker tasting better starving than a feast full maybe?

The unfortunate thing was that she had been right in her earlier appraisal- these clothes were much too big for her.

With some effort she was able to hike the trousers up and roll the ends up until they no longer dragged. Her undershirt was a bit long for her, but fit as well as could be expected. The long-sleeved shirt however, proved to need a few alterations. Luckily there was enough of it to twist the material behind her into a knot, and rolling up the sleeves was doable.

She wouldn’t exactly show up to her Ojiisan’s looking like this, but she didn’t need to be fashionable right now.

She paced a bit in the small circle free of thorns, feeling a bit accomplished as her outfit mostly stay together, already feeling a lot more sturdy and warm.

After a moment, she sat back down, grabbed at her kimono- which was now looking even nastier in comparison to her new nice clothes- and tore at one of the end pieces. It was finicky, but she’d loved craft making before, and this was hardly that different, even if it kind of was actually.

She looked at the finished piece critically- it was meant to be a bandanna of sorts, the type you’d wear on your head- in case she ever had to go somewhere public. Her hair was a dead giveaway she wasn’t a normal little girl.

She considered the rest of her sad kimono for a few seconds, trying to think of a way to use the material. It might be good to use as a sort of bag, or sling to carry things in, but she wasn’t exactly sure how to make it…do that.

In the end she simply folded in the best she could into a bag-like shape, and tied the ends together. There was a rather large hole that she’d carefully made larger and would use as the place to put her items in. Somewhat satisfied with her creations, she curled up further into the roots, and let her make-shift bag settle over herself like a blanket.


End file.
